


This Way Down

by Fortune_Maiden



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Gen, Humor, Twisted Pranks and how Nobodies deal with them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-13
Updated: 2015-02-13
Packaged: 2018-03-12 05:13:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3344894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fortune_Maiden/pseuds/Fortune_Maiden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Xigbar and Zexion conduct an experiment. Pity the Organization.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Way Down

The trap caught Vexen first. After many long hours in the lab, the scientist had finally decided to venture out, and by some unlucky twist of fate forewent teleportation in favor of a slow ascent up the long square staircase.

After several minutes of climbing, he had the distinct notion that he hadn't actually ascended, as the doorway into the castle corridors was still out of sight, even though logic told him he should have reached it.

_No… it couldn't be!_

To Vexen's credit, he did not lose his temper. First, he attempted climbing down the stairs in an attempt to reach his lab. Several minutes of walking revealed that that would not be possible either. Then with a roll of his eyes and a grumble under his breath, he extended his arm, willing a corridor of darkness to open.

It refused.

"Huh," Vexen stared at the empty space before him in disbelief, "That was different."

Then, _just_ to be sure, he walked over to the rail and cautiously glanced downwards.

And then he lost his temper.

* * *

It was the loud swearing that attracted the next victims. By some coincidence, on two different floors, Xaldin and Marluxia had been close enough to the staircase to hear Vexen's shrill voice filter into the halls. They rushed to check up on their furious teammate, with Xaldin running up and Marluxia running down to reach him.

Ignoring Marluxia, Vexen didn't waste a moment grabbing Xaldin's shoulders and shouting, "Where is that little ingrate? When I get my hands on him I'll—

"Vexen, what happened?" Xaldin cut him taking a step back, "What are you yelling about?" It took great resistance not to add "this time".

"Those blasted neophytes are up to their old tricks," Vexen spat and then, noticing Marluxia for the first time, added in a falsely sweet tone, "No offense, Eleven."

"None taken," Marluxia replied in the same tone, "I assure you, I have no involvement in whatever it is you are yelling about."

"Hmph," Vexen scowled, "Just go look over the railing already. It's a long way down."

"Vexen," Xaldin began in a warning tone, but Vexen cut him off.

"No, I mean it. Both of you, go look up or down or wherever and see it for yourself."

After exchanging wary glances, Xaldin and Marluxia decided to humor him and glanced over the railing. Xaldin sucked in a deep breath and closed his eyes, already feeling a headache coming on. Marluxia's face was carefully blank for a few moments, before he smiled wryly.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't only Six be capable of something like this?" Marluxia asked.

"Yes." Xaldin answered.

"Oh well then," Marluxia glanced back at Vexen, "Then it seems that it's those blasted _founders_ up to their old tricks. No offense, _Four_."

Vexen flushed a deep crimson. Before he could retort though, Xaldin gave him a pointed glare, leaving him to simmer in silence as Marluxia and Xaldin took in their situation.

* * *

Axel was having a good day. The rare and treasured day off allowed him to catch up on some much needed sleep, and carried the added bonus of keeping Saïx off his back. Axel never held any love for his monotonous missions, but after such a great relaxing day, even he was ready to put some effort into those things.

Or rather, he _had_ been ready.

Funny what getting stuck on a never-ending staircase did to one's optimism.

* * *

"So what did you do, anyway?" Axel asked after a while, giving Vexen a critical look.

"What did _I_ do? What makes you think I had anything to do with this!"

"Hey, the way I see it, you're the first one who got stuck here," Axel snapped, "so clearly this whole thing was meant for you. How'd you piss him off this time?"

Vexen did not dignify that with a response. Instead, he just scowled and moved to the other end of the landing. Privately though, he reviewed his last few dealings with Zexion, wondering if he really had offended the younger Nobody somehow.

* * *

If Nobodies could feel relief, that was the emotion they would have felt when Lexaeus appeared. Surely Zexion would let them out of the illusion now.

They quickly discovered that if they could feel, their relief would have swiftly turned into disappointment as a few floors down (for walking down was easier) later, there was still no exit from the staircase and the image of endless floors below and endless floors above remained. Even friends weren't safe.

* * *

"There's something very strange about this situation," the longstanding silence came to an end when the Silent Hero himself broke it, "Zexion should not be capable of this."

"Really?" Marluxia raised a brow, "I can't imagine anyone else making a staircase look endless."

"Outside of the Lexicon, Zexion's illusions are just that. Illusions. Images. He can make us _see_ an endless staircase but he can't truly make it go on forever. At some point we should have hit the end."

"So what are you saying?" Axel's eyes widened, "Are we all trapped in his book right now?" The thought alarmed Marluxia as well. In Zexion's Lexicon, he made the rules. That would have accounted for their sudden inability to teleport as well.

"No," Lexaeus paused for a moment, and in that moment his frown deepened, " _Zexion_ may be incapable of manipulating spatial matter, but unfortunately…"

There was no need for that sentence to be finished. Vexen's facepalm spoke for everyone.

* * *

The mood on the staircase continued to plummet, with the trapped Nobodies alternating between arguing, threatening battle, and occasionally looking to see if the illusion was still in place.

Then Demyx showed up to remind everyone that there was no such thing as a bad situation that couldn't possibly get worse.

* * *

"So basically, you're telling me that Xigbar and Zexion have trapped us here?" If Marluxia didn't know any better, he would have thought that Demyx found the whole situation amusing.

"It is what it is," Axel grumbled.

" _Why?_ "

"It's Xigbar, Nine," Vexen griped, "Why does he do anything."

"Well, okay, I guess I can sorta picture Xigbar doing this for a laugh," Demyx conceded, "But I never pictured Zexion to be so…so…"

"Juvenile?" Lexeaus offered.

"Basically."

Secretly, Demyx lamented not having known the Founders when they were human. He really wished he could understand the derisive snorts they shared as they considered their longtime colleague's demeanor.

* * *

"Right then, this is getting ridiculous," Xaldin declared standing up. Things had been silent for a while with everyone sitting on different steps and corners of the landing, "There is no reason for our inability to break out of this illusion."

"What are you suggesting?" Marluxia glanced up.

"An experiment. Number Nine, get up. You're going for a run."

"Why me?" Demyx whined.

"Because."

Demyx wanted to protest further, but decided against it when faced with all the glares. Why did it have to be him though? The others were plenty eager to escape; they should have volunteered.

(Aside from the present company, Demyx decided that being trapped on the staircase really wasn't all that bad. The steps weren't as comfortable as a couch, but it was still a place where he could play his sitar in peace.)

"So? What do I do?"

"Run up the stairs. At least ten floors."

" _Ten!?_ "

"Just do it, Demyx," Axel told him, "Some of us have better places to be."

"But ten… can I use a portal at least?" If looks could kill, Demyx would have faded into nothingness then and there. "Oh yeah, right, no portals." He chuckled sheepishly, "Otherwise we could all just portal out of here."

"Brilliant deduction," Axel scowled.

"What I don't understand is how they've impeded our ability to summon dark corridors," Marluxia said.

"If I had to guess, Zexion is using his illusions to keep us from seeing them, and Xigbar is moving them with his powers so that they don't open _precisely_ where we want them. Including below us," Lexaeus explained. Since that had been the only theory offered at that point and made enough sense, the others decided to accept it. They were far more interested in Xaldin's proposal anyway since it hinted at an escape. Only Demyx wasn't cooperating.

"But ten—can I run _down_ at least?"

Xaldin considered it for a moment. Then he nodded.

* * *

"Alright, I made it," Demyx yelled between deep breaths. Marluxia, standing closest to the rail, looked down to find a black-clad arm waving a significant drop away.

"He's down there," Marluxia confirmed, though he been too lazy to count the railings in between. Knowing Demyx, he likely gave up around floor 8 anyway.

"Hmm," Xaldin was silent. After Demyx began his long descent, Xaldin ordered the rest of the Nobodies to line up diagonally across the landing and wait. He refused to explain his intentions then, but after hearing Demyx's voice echo from below, he was ready to talk.

"I have to hand it to Zexion," he said, "His skill has improved significantly."

"How so?" Marluxia asked.

"Think of what we know about this staircase. It is designed to look endless in both directions, but in reality it is contained in the same finite space it's always been in. Therefore anytime we reach an end of it, Xigbar warps the space around us to move us to a different floor so we can keep moving. I sent Demyx ten floors below us, but for all we know, in reality he could be above us right now. Yet his voice carries the way we perceive it would were he really so far below."

"And you're saying Zexion is manipulating that?" Axel considered it, "Damn."

"Now is not the time to be impressed," Vexen grumbled.

"Indeed. I had hoped to use sound to try and estimate our positioning relative to the real stairs, but if Zexion can alter our perception of that as well, there's no point."

"Why did you position us diagonally like that though?" Marluxia asked.

"I do not believe I have ever personally experienced Xigbar's spatial manipulation. Since the stairs loop in reality, I figured Demyx would have to run through us at one point and I wanted to see if we could sense it. Did we?"

The response was negative all around.

"Knowing Xigbar, he might have just skipped this landing entirely though," Lexaeus pointed out.

"Hey Demyx," Axel yelled, "While you were running, did you feel anything strange? Like maybe a teleporting sensation?"

"…No?" was the confused reply.

"You probably should have told him what you were planning," Leaxaeus chided, "So he would have known to look for it in the first place."

"Hmm," Xaldin just shrugged, "Demyx, come back up here now."

" _WHAT!?_ No way. I am not going up ten floors, I'm staying here!" When they heard angry strums of his sitar, they knew arguing was futile.

"Disrespectful twit," Vexen muttered. Xaldin nodded in agreement.

"Perhaps," Leaxaeus sighed, "It would be better if we went down instead. It would give us the opportunity to sense any spatial tempering.

* * *

It was later noted: _Subtle Spatial Manipulation is not easily felt_.

Demyx continued to play his Sitar allowing the notes to echo throughout the endless staircase. The others had rejoined him , but fortunately no one was suggesting anymore sprints.

They were suggesting destruction instead.

"So in theory, you could smite this place into oblivion right? And that would destroy the illusion?" Axel's voice was filled with feigned hopefulness.

"I could," Lexaeus replied, "But it would destroy the real stairs as well. We could be in for a long drop."

"Our teleporting should start working."

"Perhaps. But we would still need to explain the stairs to Xemnas."

"He'll understa—

"And Saïx."

"Yeah, screw that plan."

For similar reasons, sending a torrent of water down the stairs was also ruled out. It was also pointed out that Xigbar could and would loop the water to flood _them_. Axel's protests were loudest.

* * *

"I wish Larxene was here," Marluxia suddenly said, silencing all the chatter and music at once.

" _Larxene?_ " Axel sputtered, "Are you trying to get us killed here?"

"I don't know," Demyx smiled, "Larxene would not tolerate being trapped like this. Xigbar and Zexion would let us go if they knew what was good for them."

"Demyx; Xigbar and Zexion are _not_ afraid of Larxene," Vexen said in a slow condescending voice.

"Really?" Demyx considered it for a moment, and then shrugged. "Well, they should be."

No one could come up with any rebuttal to that.

* * *

"Right, time for another escape attempt," Xaldin declared, "Everyone up."

"Are you going to make me run again?" Demyx groaned.

"Yes," Xaldin stated simply, "But not just you, we're all running this time."

"Oh joy," Vexen muttered, slowly rising to his feet. The others did so as well, walking towards the center of the landing to form a small circle around Xaldin, "Well let's hear this brilliant plan."

"Zexion's powers demand intense concentration," Xaldin explained, "And while Nobodies cannot feel emotion, we _can_ feel pain, and pain can be a very hard thing to concentrate through."

"While I have no objections to causing pain, you know Zexion's not here, right?" Axel reminded him.

"Actually, he is," Lexaeus said, "He can't maintain such a complex illusion from too far away. He and Xigbar are watching from somewhere nearby. We just can't see or hear them."

"Are you serious?" Demyx looked around frantically, "Hey Xiggy, Zexy, come on let us out already. Please?"

"Oh I'll draw them out," Marluxia hissed and summoned his scythe. Axel's chakrams came out as well.

"Ahem," Xaldin cleared his throat, "Before you all start throwing your elements around in hopes of hitting them, remember that they'll easily be able to block our attacks. Remember that not all pain is physical. If we all start running all over the place, Zexion will have to pour more energy to make sure we're all on the floors we perceive ourselves to be on within the illusion. And naturally Xigbar will need to make sure we don't start bumping into each other while we run. That might cause a few headaches here and there."

"So you intend to stress him into dropping the illusion," Vexen grinned, "Wonderful, let's get started."

* * *

Xaldin, Lexaeus and Axel were to run up, while Marluxia, Demyx and Vexen would race down. They would move at different speeds, and every few floors look over the railing or shout to make sure the sound carried correctly. Keeping track of just Demyx earlier was child's play for Zexion. Now he would need to keep track of all six of them at once. If he couldn't maintain it, the illusion would crumble and they would escape.

All of them were fairly confident in their stamina. There was no way they couldn't outlast someone who'd already kept using his powers for several hours.

The game was over.

* * *

Xaldin, having traveled by wind currents, had been the last to give up. He wasn't sure of how many floors he climbed or how many times his path must have looped already, but it was just futile. The last time he'd looked down below he couldn't even see the others anymore, and their voices were barely even whispers, even with the acoustics.

Eventually, they'd joined up again. No one said anything.

The game… was over.

* * *

Time kept passing, but how much had already passed was really anyone's guess. Escape seemed to crawl further and further away from them with each moment. Too tired to try another race, the Nobodies finally settled on waiting until Saïx or someone found them. No one dared to wonder if Luxord had any involvement in this scheme as well.

"Hey Vexen," Axel whispered after a very lengthy silence, "Just to make sure, as Nobodies, we are incapable of feeling true emotion, right?"

"Yes, Number Eight, that's how it works," Vexen replied, exasperated.

"So, again just to make sure, I'm not _really_ annoyed right now. I'm just feigning irritation because that's what being stuck in this situation should feel like, right?"

"…Yes?" Everyone turned to Axel, curious as to where this was headed.

"So I was just wondering: I'm feeling a strong desire to wring Xigbar and Zexion's necks. And I know I'm going to enjoy doing so with gusto. Is that really a _feigned_ feeling?"

Vexen did not have an immediate answer to that.

At least it gave them something to debate while they waited.

* * *

Above them, hidden in the shadows of illusion, Zexion and Xigbar watched the scene, the former sitting in front of the railing, and the latter standing over it.

"Heh, looks like they're finally giving up," Xigbar laughed, "Looks like we win."

"They were close though," Zexion said softly, pressing the back of his glove to his forehead to soak up the sweat, "I was starting to falter towards the end."

Xigbar studied his partner in crime, noting his pallor with a frown. "You're white as a sheet, Kid," he remarked, "Too much?"

"Nothing I couldn't handle," Zexion brushed him off, "I imagine having to constantly manipulate space for all of them was difficult for you as well."

"As if," Xigbar summoned one of his guns and waved it in front of Zexion's face, "I regularly work with bullet speeds. People—even Xaldin and his wind currents, are snails in comparison." Zexion gave a small nod in understanding.

"But I love how they didn't realize that once they were on different floors I was just looping them through the same floor over and over. Not even Lex caught on to that one," Xigbar continued, "Any thoughts?"

"I suppose even without a heart, high stress situations impede rational thought significantly. It seems Nobodies do not handle imprisonment any differently than humans do. As a side note, our powers are far more compatible than I expected. This has been an interesting study indeed."

"And by interesting, you mean exciting, right?" Xigbar grinned.

"We do not feel excitement."

"Aww come on, you know you enjoyed this."

"I will admit, it was intellectually stimulating," though his tone remained detached, there was a small smirk on his face.

"'Atta boy," Xigbar ruffled his hair playfully, to Zexion's mild annoyance, "Ready for phase two?"

"Yes," Zexion stood up slowly, face briefly scrunching up from the sudden movement, "I'll drop the illusion as soon as we leave. Then we'll simply time how long before they notice."

"Want me to take care of that? You look like you could use a nap."

"No, I'll manage," Zexion replied knowing full well that both of them would need to stay alert lest the other throw them to the sharks, "I'll keep track of their scents from my room. As soon as I detect movement, either theirs or someone else's, I'll find you. Do you remember the plan?"

"Duh. We go to Xemnas, tell him about this super important matter we absolutely have to look into, and then portal away for an extended recon mission," Xigbar's grin grew, "on the furthest world we can find."

Zexion smirked and opened up a portal to allow them their exit.

**Author's Note:**

> How long until Vexen and the others notice they're free? How long will Xigbar and Zexion need to be on their extended recon mission? Or are they doomed either way? Ah, I'll leave that to your imaginations ;)
> 
> This was more fun to write than I imagined it would be. Originally, I was going to have Zexion working on his own and Xigbar be his intended victim, but having them team up worked so much better.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, and I'd really appreciate any feedback. :)


End file.
